Fall of the Phantom Lord

As I climbed back up the cliff to the others, it felt as if part of me had not survived the jump; as if something small and shameful had remained behind. That which is clinging, timid, and self-pitying; that measures, counts, controls; that is arrogant, righteous, and ambitious; that is petty; that fears indifference, humiliation, betrayal, decay---briefly fell away. When I surrendered, the moment before I stepped off the cliff, all of this was torn from me like a scab. It grew back, predictably, in the hours and days that followed, but for a short while I had a glimpse of what it meant to be free.